please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
