I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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