By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
