I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
