Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
