hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
