its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
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