i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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