was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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