Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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