Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
