we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
