No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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