nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
