i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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