he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
