I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You took a bar mat shot.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
