You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
