It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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