You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
