Porn is love you can see.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
