Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
