so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
i think my cat just said my name.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
