He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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