Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
