She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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