I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
