I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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