before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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