well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
