Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
