Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
