there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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