I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
smell my finger.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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