We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Drunk is not a location!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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