dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
