your parents love me but you hate me
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
