First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
