belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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