there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My vagina is very pro this idea
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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