my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize