So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
