after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
