All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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