you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
