But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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