New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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