hotel room ftw
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
this will be a night to untag.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
