I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize