I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
