The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
