Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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