About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
