Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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