i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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