Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He felt like a one man threesome
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
