(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
