I cockslap morals
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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