Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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