The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
