please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
