he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize