Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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