my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
