I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
